LIFE | LOVE | LOSS

“In any given moment we have two options:

To step forward into growth or step back into safety.” 

– Abraham Maslow

WHAT I GREW

“In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect.”

-Alice Walker

Happy March!

The earth is waking up!  You can see it in the Spring flowers erupting from the ground and hear it in the bird songs back on the breeze. I love this time of reawakening.  The urge to clean and purge, to let go of the old to make room for the new!

What stirs inside of you in early Spring?  I find myself daydreaming of my garden to be.  I am thinking about new things I want to plant this year while taking note of what did not thrive or grow at all last year.  We lost a fruit tree and elected to plant more berries in its place. Making jam from fresh picked berries from the vine is a joy to create and share. I am giving my mom garden picked berries I froze last summer in her yogurt. I love having them, knowing they grew in the light in my yard, that they were picked in love!

As the still quiet nights of winter linger, I find myself also reflecting on what has grown in my life since the loss of our son Joey over eight and a half years ago.  I have two new grandsons; I wonder what stories he told them before they arrived.  What mischief he encouraged them to cause angst for their mom and dad!  I hear my children comment on things about their new boys that remind them of their brother who will never get to hold them here.

One of them bears his name.  What a bittersweet tribute this is.  I love so much that my children continue to find ways to include their lost brother in their lives as they are now years past his death.  I love how they have helped their spouses who never knew Joey while alive learn to know and love him as they do.

I love what has grown from our grief and pain through light and love.  I am honored to be able to share J-day each month to remind others to be kind, share a smile, to have an open honest conversation where one is needed.  These are a few of the beautiful things that have grown from our loss.  Me being here, writing this newsletter came from attending the Bereaved Mother’s Retreat that is hosted by Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation.

Cristie and Leigh Anne are two dear friends I met in death whom I cherish and adore.  They are like bright flowers in a garden born of pain that now bears beautiful blooms as we stand together on hallowed ground to live in ways that honor the lives of those we have lost.  We move forward with purpose, in strength, sometimes with tears pouring out of our eyes and hearts aching with a longing that is hard to give words too. 

Yet, as I watch my daughter and daughter-in-law as new mommas, they get up, tired, worn down, and do what needs to be done. Love gives us this strength to move forward against all odds.  And oh, how I love my sweet pup, Joey.  He was my garden helper, the one who loved to plant, pick and harvest with me.  I miss time in the garden with him.

Life, love and loss put us through it.  Some eras are like a long cold winter where everything seems dark, cold, desolate even.  Remember in these times that is when deep rest and growth can happen.  Like the early spring crocuses and daffodils, we can grow and bloom in harsh conditions.  We can move forward even when it’s hard.  One breath, one step, one day at a time.

What will you grow this month?

What needs to be cleared out of your mind, house, or heart to make ‘fertile’ soil for new things to sprout?

All my best,

Genna

Mental Health Moment:

“It is an act of bravery to feel your feelings.”

– Gayle Forman

This month following the theme of planting something new I invite you to adopt a new mental health practice.

No, you do not need a 4-day workshop in Sedona Arizona!  (I know of a great one if you do want this!!)

What feels easy and right to you?

Adding a weekly Epsom salt bath while listening to chakra singing bowls?

A yoga class?

A quiet walk, no music, no noise, just you and being outside!

A puzzle, drawing, creating art in any form?

What about a 5 or 10-minute guided meditation?  There are SO many amazing ones online and on YouTube, find a theme, person’s voice that makes you feel relaxed just hearing it and try this a few times a week.

Do something that feels relaxing, attainable and sustainable for you.  Consistency is key!

I also have a nightly practice of putting peppermint oil on my temples and sides of my neck.  This is my ‘good night mind’ it is time to turn off and rest signal.

Then as I lay down and thoughts start to come, I let them drift off like clouds in the sky!  This helps me fall asleep quickly and stay that way, plus the peppermint oil is warm and soothing.  Good sleep is a mental health boost!

Caution: do not get close to your eyes!! That is not soothing or relaxing.