HOW DEEP ARE YOUR ROOTS?

“The deep roots never doubt Spring will come.” – Marty Rubin

The month of May is full of events and new growth.  Trees are starting to get their leaves, flowers are blooming, blossoms are plentiful.  It is a time of renewal and rejuvenation.  This month also holds Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and a myriad of Awareness focuses including Mental Health Awareness.

I love flowers!  I love all varieties, colors, textures and blooms!  One of my favorite things in May is to plant flowers in pots and throughout my yard.  I have a huge lilac bush that blooms in May releasing its fragrant scent for all to enjoy.  I love the wisdom and timing of nature.  There are no schedules, clocks or calendar reminders for flowers, plants, and trees to know when to grow and flourish.

The past couple of months have given us a unique opportunity inside isolation and quarantine to pause, to reflect, to slow down.  We have had less ‘to-do’ and more time ‘to be’.  Activities, sports, parties, and events have fallen away leaving us with time to deepen our own mental, emotional, and physical roots.

So, what have you found?  What have you learned during this time?  Have you realized that you were made for working at home or that it is not your thing at all?  Have you been out of work concerned and afraid of meeting financial demands?  Did you realize being a teacher to your own children is an impossible and unrewarding task or do you love it?  Have you fallen deeper in love with those you share space?  Perhaps you have learned you love them but like them better when there is less time shared?

This experience has been unique to us all.  I read a story online that said we are all in the same storm, but we are not in the same ship.  I thought this was an accurate description of this pandemic time.  Many are drifting along without much change.  Some feel like they have been paddling upstream the whole time.  It has left some with more peace and perspective.  Others have been in a constant state of upset and panic.

My question and invitation to us all is to deepen our roots.  Like a tree that can stand through rough winds, changing climates and uncertain events its roots are what keeps it anchored.  The roots are what gather water and other needed nutrients to sustain the tree.

The roots of good self-care, mental health, emotional well being, and emotional intelligence are what help hold us together.

Do you have a daily practice of caring for yourself outside of regular hygiene?

What do you do for your mind?

How do you manage emotions?  The good and hard ones?  What are your outlets in times of feeling overwhelmed?  Are you able to pause and choose how to handle emotional upsets ‘well’?  If not do you acknowledge this and apologize after an outburst?

The answers to these questions will be unique and individual to you.  There is not a right and wrong here.  For me I know daily meditation helps me feel grounded and be mentally clear.  I am good at this about 80% of the time.  I like music and enjoy listening to it as much as I can.  I like long drives and slow kisses.  I swear, a lot!

I am practiced at allowing myself to ‘feel’ what there is to feel.  However, I do not particularly like feeling overly emotional or weepy.  I still cry more than I want too.  So, when I do I spend time in nature.  Bare feet in the grass calms me, digging in the dirt or planting things helps me.  I also take Epsom salt baths with candles telling myself to let go of the overload and intending for it to wash off and down the drain.

When I get cranky and have a sharper tongue than necessary, I apologize.  These are some things that help me stay and get back to balance when I am off center.  I invite you to identify or create some of your own ways to deepen your roots of self-love and acceptance.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge all those who have and do fight for the freedoms we hold dear in this nation.  Our country has deep roots in love and service for one another.  I am grateful to be an American.  I know the price that has and is being paid.  Thank you to all who have and do serve.

 

THE LOSS OF EXPECTATION

“To meet everything and everyone through Stillness instead of mental noise is the greatest gift you can offer the universe.” — Eckhart Tolle

At any time in your life have you said or thought to yourself, “this isn’t how I thought things would go?”

Often when we have this thought it is accompanied by panic, upset, confusion, anger or disbelief.  There can be a period of uncertainly while we traverse the uncomfortable and unknown territory of a new circumstance or challenge.

 

This can apply to so many life events, loss of a relationship, a job, an unexpected injury or illness, an unplanned pregnancy, a death, a betrayal, a new job or new move, family or friends who come into or out of our lives.  It could be a global pandemic or economic crisis or both.

Since the earthquakes in Utah have stopped Facebook is full of images and comments about the class of 2020.  Their expected completion of all their years in school is no more.  Graduation is not what they thought, hoped or expected it would be.  Many posts share feelings of being cheated, ripped off, angry and sad they will not have the commencement so many others have.

I get this.  My Joey who took his life in September of 2017 is part of the class of 2020.  I too had expectations of this time of his life, how it would be to see him reach this pinnacle of moving from youth into adulthood.  I also feel cheated and ripped off I do not get to have his today or tomorrows.

I am an avid reader and love the author Don Miguel Ruiz.  He is well known for his Four Agreements book.  He shares the concept of expectation in our lives and how we are defined by the titles we hold.  One question he asks is if you were not son or daughter, brother or sister, husband or wife, father or mother, teacher or student, your title at work then who are you?

Each of these titles inside our unique cultures hold an expectation.  What if these expectations were all stripped away?  What if they were all lost?

What is left?  Who would you be then?

It is a deep thought-provoking question.  A lot of what gets us up each day and keeps us moving forward is defined inside these expectations.  That is not a bad thing.  It helps us have a focus and purpose.  It helps us earn a living and provide for those we love.  It could be why when things don’t go to plan, we get knocked sideways.

The question remains.  Who are you underneath all of this?

Perhaps we do not know.  Maybe time has never been given to knowing or understanding this.  I recently participated in a ‘What’s your Why’ project for a friend of Joey’s who was making a documentary as part of her senior project.  Having to reflect and answer this question took me on a deep journey inside.  It was a journey layered with expectations!

 

So, standing in a place facing an unknown landscape perhaps it does not matter what defined us before.  In this moment we can chose who we are going to be now and going forward.  We get to make the choices and take the actions to lead us to where we want to be.  I read a John Lennon quote that said, “Everything will be okay in the end.  If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

I love the hope and perspective this quote shares.  While we are here and still having breath it is not the end!

Please take a deep breath as you go forward with peace in your mind and heart knowing that you are capable of handling all that comes your way.  You might not like it, you certainly will not want all of it, you may cry, scream or even laugh.  No matter what or how it looks you always get to choose who you are going to be in the face of all that lands on your path.  It is your story make edits as needed!!

 

I wish you everything good.

All my best,

Genna