LIFE | LOVE | LOSS

“Balance is the perfect state of still water.  Let that be our model.  It remains quiet within and is not disturbed on the surface” – Confucius

BEND OR BREAK?

“Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.  Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” – Helen Keller

We are amid ever-changing uncertain times.  Everything seems to be amplified.  Strong winds of change are blowing from every direction.  From global pandemics to natural disasters to political unrest to racial violence.  We are surrounded by circumstances and opposing forces pushing us to bend the way we think, the way we act, the way we do business, the way we interact with each other as human beings.

The question that comes to my mind is will we bend as a society or will we break?  If you have ever watched a large mature tree during a storm with strong winds you know it can take a tremendous amount of pressure.  Its branches and leaves can move and sway or they can be ripped off and broken.  After a big storm there is usually a time of clean up where spent leaves are gathered, broken branches removed.  The tree may still be standing but is not the same after the damage from the storm.

 

So, who are we going to be during and after these storms?

 

Has isolation and social distancing made you feel afraid of human contact or does it make you appreciate and crave it even more?

Have natural disasters made you more aware and prepared for future events or has it stolen your peace of mind?

Do you find yourself enjoying the political banter of opposing sides or does it not sit right to see the upset and criticism from all parties?

Have you watched or read about George Floyd and felt outrage for the injustice of his death?  Did it make you want to stand with and for all people of color or did it harden your heart towards the police?

I do not have the answers to any of these questions for you.  It is something you can take to your heart with an open mind and see what feels right and true for you.

I know for me it makes me want to be MORE aware.  MORE present to those in my life.  It makes me appreciate MORE the people in my life to love and who love me.  I wish I had a way to make uncertainty feel calm in the minds and hearts of others.  I wish I were able to whisper peace to those who feel lost and troubled.  I wish all politics took place inside respect and tolerance.  I most certainly wish there were no racial inequalities on the planet.  I wish kindness and love were the prevailing emotions for humans to interact with each other.

I do not know what the answers are to many of these challenging issues.  I only know I want to be part of a solution.  I will do the work I can in my own spaces of influence to listen with the intent to learn how another is feeling.  I will see both sides of an issue and keep an open mind to opposing views. I will keep my 72-Hour kit up to date!

 

I love the quote, “When we know better, we do better.”

 

I know we can do better in kindness and acceptance.  I know we can all find a place in our lives to be better at listening to learn and not to convince others our way of thinking is the best or only way.  I know there is giant room for improvement in treatment of people of color.  There is room for Americans to do better in seeing that two wrongs will never make a right.

So, sometimes in life bending is the way to move forward and make change.  Other times things must break for them to be cleaned up and made new.

I invite you to sit with these questions and find the answers in the quiet of your mind of where you go from here in this new and changing world.

 

THE HAPPINESS TRAIL

“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless.  You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.” — Pema Chodron

 

I firmly believe that what we put our attention on grows.  I consider myself a student of life.  I am constantly asking myself who am I going to be through each new challenge.  I asked myself what I wanted most right now and came up with the simple answer of happiness!

Uncertainty can rob us of peace.  Lack of peace can bring strain, anxiety, nervousness, and fear all of which are the opposites of happy. So, I decided to start a happiness journal.  I started off by listing things that made be feel happy.  I began with the five senses.  Below are some of the items that made the initial list!

Things I like to touch are kittens, my grand pup Melvin, soft blankets, and Trace’s hands.  I love holding hands with my sweetheart.

Things I like to see are my children, my husband, flowers growing, sunsets, dragon flies, a grey stormy sky against green grass, kindness, and consideration for others.

Things I like to hear are the sounds of a gentle breeze through trees, birds singing, running water, thunder, country music and laughter!

Things I like to taste are raspberries, a grilled hot dog, shrimp, Fritos Scoops, homemade salsa to name a few!

Things I like to smell are roses and lilacs.  I love the smell of a baby after a bath!  I love the smell of fresh cut cedar.  I love the smell of bacon cooking!!  Bacon makes everything better for me.

Sometimes when we start on a new journey of self-reflection what happens first is all the items that are not in alignment with our new intentions come up for us.  That is ok.  Things need to rise to the surface before they can be healed.  Being aware of this helps you to be able to see these triggers for what they are.  Then you can give yourself some mental and emotional room to sit with them.

I attended courses with Landmark Education many years ago and one conversation that has stuck with me when it comes to new ideas is to try them on.  Think of it like trying on a shirt at a department store.  When you try something new on you first have to remove something old (like an idea or belief that no longer fits for you).  When you have the new item on you take a moment to reflect on how it feels.  Does it feel good?  Does it feel bad?  Can you move easily and freely inside this new shirt (or idea).  If yes, then likely you will purchase the shirt and make it part of your new norm.  If not, you leave it behind.

Are there feelings of upset, anger or resentment if the shirt does not fit?  Not usually.  I invite you to use this same concept when you are trying on new ways of thinking or feeling.  See what fits.  When you find things that do, keep them, use them, wear them until you find something else new that also fits!

Many of the ideas for this trail to new and deeper happiness came from a book called “Goddesses Are Happy Living a Fulfilling Life” by Ava Miles.

One section says,

“I love myself enough to do the following to the best of my ability at any given moment:

Choose love and joy – first, last and always

Stop worrying about things I can’t control

Allow things to be easy and abundant

Say no to drama in my own life

Not give away my power to anyone

Not let other people’s opinions or drama reduce my joy & well-being

Cry if I need to and then move on

Get angry if I feel it and then move on

Not get stuck in the rut of self-doubt or self-recrimination

Not judge how other people live their lives

Intentionally make time for play and rest

Trust in myself and others

Believe in the good in people

Be vulnerable

Be strong

Be curious

Be enchanted

Write

Dance

Sing

Cook

Garden

Explore

Hike

Meditate and Pray

Listen

Speak

Love – with all my heart

Laugh – with all my heart

Be grateful

And hang out only with people who uplift my spirit and accept me for who I am.”

 

I encourage you to pick a few of the items above each day or week to apply in your life no matter the storms the world has laid at your feet.

Put your attention to expanding happiness in your life.  Follow the trail of love.  Love leads to the deepest forms of happiness.  There is a country music artist named Martina McBride.  In one of her songs the lyric says, “Love is the only house big enough for all the pain in the world.”

I know this to be true.  There was so much pain in my mind and heart when my son Joey took his life.  I am certain that my love for him, my husband and two living children combined with the love from family, friends and strangers kept me going during some of the darkest and deepest storms of pain and grief.  I am grateful to love and be loved.  It makes me happy!

I invite you to start somewhere.  What is it you desire most?  Start your own list using your five senses.  Make time to ‘try on’ new ways of thinking and expanding your mind and heart.  Be kind to yourself and others.  In one way or another we are all learning and growing through this journey called life.  Let us find and create new ways to love ourselves and each other through all that comes.

 

I wish you everything good.

All my best,

Genna