“The trees are in their autumn beauty, the woodland paths are dry, under the October twilight the water mirrors a still sky.” – William Butler Yeats 

FIRE 

“Isn’t it strange that the most gentle of hearts belong to all the souls on fire” 

–Michelle Schaper

So many things have burned this year both literally and figuratively.  Starting the new year with a worldwide pandemic we watched peace of mind, financial stability, children in schools, simple family gathering, hugging all burn inside of economic closure and viral exposure.  We watched vacations and simple travel go by the wayside and we did not even know what was yet to come.  I will not quote figures, so I don’t get them wrong but safe to say more actual land, homes, cabins, businesses have burned this year than in many years’ past.  Some by violent riots, some by nature and some by human negligence.   

I love the teachings of Deepak Chopra and often read his writing or participate in his online mediation or other courses.  Below is one of the days from his 21 days of inspirations course.  It speaks of fire both literally and in a transformational way.   

I invite you to reflect on the questions at the end, what can you release that is no longer serving your highest and best good?  October is a time of shorter days with less sunlight.  What can you let go of in your mind or heart that would then allow you the space for more light, love, peace, energy, or joy to enter? 

“Transformation  

The giant sequoias are some of the world’s most ancient trees. The oldest known sequoia, estimated to be about 3,500 years old, was only a seedling when the Vedic wisdom texts were being composed, and became a mature tree long before the Buddha was born, the Bhagavad Gita was written, and Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount.  

What is the secret of the sequoias’ incredible longevity? The elemental power of agni, the Sanskrit word for fire. Periodic forest fires clear away everything that threatens the trees’ survival while ensuring their growth and regeneration. Without the fire’s heat, the sequoia cones couldn’t open and release their seeds. Without the clearing force of fire, sequoia seedlings would be overcrowded by competing shade trees and not have enough sunlight to grow.  

Today let’s celebrate the transformational fire in our body and life. Agni burns away physical, mental, and emotional debris, making room for something new to be born in our life.  

What small step can you take today to release what’s no longer serving you, opening the space for more light, energy, and joy? 

21 DAYS OF INSPIRATION | CHOPRA.COM” 

BRISKET & BACON 

“It’s not the load that breaks you down.  It’s the way you carry it.” 

-C.S Lewis 

I am a meat eater.  I have a ton of food issues and allergies and thank goodness meat is not one of them.  I am VERY fond of smoked brisket sliced or chopped!  I am SUPER fond of applewood smoked thick sliced crispy bacon!  Eating either of these things makes life feel a little better to me!  I even have a sign in my kitchen that says, “Bacon Makes Everything Better”.  This is a truth for me. 

Truth is funny that way, right?  There are absolute truths like gravity and the law of physics or the speed of sound.  Then there is religious truth, things we believe deeply and hold true in our minds and hearts.  Many hold political truths on who is the ‘Right’ choice for the job.  There are hygiene truths we hold.  Living with teenagers can push the limits or stretch these truths!!  We often hold cleaning truths and the truth on how a towel ought to be folded or which way the toilet paper needs to roll! 

Other truths come from experience.  If I never had bacon, I would not have developed a truth about it making everything better.  Some might feel this way about a favorite dessert or other item they eat or drink.  Consuming it calms or relaxes you! 

Does truth need to be argued over, fought for, or defended?  My answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no.  I hold a truth about being fair, just, treating others with kindness and respect.  I personally think these things are worth speaking up for and defending.   

There is also a point of personal truth that elicits no fight.  If someone were to say that I was not married to Trace, that Carlie, TJ and Joey were not by children I would not need to argue or fight or defend this statement.  I know it as an absolute truth beyond any doubt. 

What if we felt comfortable enough with the personal truths, we hold dear to simply stand in a place of complete comfort and acceptance of what we know to be OUR truth to be on any topic?  What would this change in your life?  How would it impact your relationships with others? 

Could you sit at a table (6 feet apart or wearing a mask) and listen to someone’s truth about a topic and just allow them to think and feel the way they do if it doesn’t match or is in conflict with one of your truths? 

I think anger at other beliefs and views can cause a heavy load on us affecting both our mental and emotional wellbeing.  How often have you yelled at the TV in the last six months?  How many times have you felt heated over items shown or perspectives shared by the media or on social platforms? 

I invite you to find your own truth in such a way that you are deeply rooted in peace with how you think and feel.  Carry this truth in a way that honors both you and those whose truths vary from yours. 

I honestly believe this may be the doorway to peace and real understanding. 

A CARE GIVERS HEART 

“It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing.” 

–Mother Teresa 

As a mother for almost three decades I have been a care giver longer than I have been anything else.  I have also had the privilege and challenge of loving and caring for my grandma who lived in our home her last two years.  I have cared for and supported my bonus dad for years while his health declined.  I was able to stand next to both while they took their last breath.  If you have never had this experience it is one that comes with a depth of emotions that are both beautiful and heart wrenching.   

In both my Granny B’s and bonus dad Neil’s case they were older and had been struggling with health issues.  Their passing was a gift in knowing they were no longer in physical pain.  Both were under hospice care which is a process where your mind and heart work to acknowledge their time is near. 

There is an emotional load to caring for adults that is different than being a mom and caring for your own children.  My husband accurately described it as taking care of a grown-up toddler at times.  You need to monitor them, talk them into and out of things, sometimes even bathe and change their clothes.  It certainly is a labor of love. 

My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dementia while we were caring for her husband Neil.  His children all lived out of state and my sister and I are here local.  We did everything that was needed to watch over them both.  When Neil passed two years ago this week, we assumed full time care for my mom.  Her mental decline made her unable to care for herself.  She had stopped driving and was dependent on us for all her daily living needs, food, and managing of finances. 

When you care for someone you give them a piece of you.  Your mind is consumed with thoughts of what they need today and planning for what they will need tomorrow.  It filled my heart with great humility to know I was needed int his way. 

Being able to take care of my mom full time made me love her more. It afforded me an opportunity to give to her in a way she never needed me too before.  I was able to provide an environment where she was content, free from worry or stress. What a gift to be able to see her carefree!  Her cognitive abilities continued to decline, and we knew tough decisions were ahead.  My siblings and I had called many care centers and homes.  My sister and I were schedule to meet with one.  If you never have to read reviews for care centers, consider yourself lucky.  All of them had reviews of being amazing or of horrible neglect where they were sure to kill your loved one…yikes. 

One week ago, we moved her to live with my brother in Arizona.  This move to live with family, have full time care and people she loves with her full time was an answer to a thousand prayers.  I felt grateful and relieved all at the same time.  The weight of choosing the right care center was weighing heavy on me. 

I am all about tasks.  I am super independent and hard working.  If something needs done, I get it done.  Getting her ready to move was a new task that I tackled, getting boxes, tape, bubble wrap, signing the term to her lease, forwarding mail, lists with what needed to be cancelled or where her address needed to be updated were all made. 

Then she left and I started to cry and cry and cry.  My cute husband on about day three or maybe day four of so many tears asked me if I was going to ever stop crying.  I answered honestly saying, “I’m not sure, maybe not.”  As weird as this sounds, I felt so torn apart that she would likely die without me by her side.  She is on hospice.  Her mind and body are failing.  I know what that means.  More crying.  My brother, his wife and my awesome nieces and nephew will take the best care of her.  Fond memories will be made, laughter shared, love felt.  I KNOW she is in the right and best place and yet it still hurts.   

I have spent almost thirty years with people ‘needing’ me.  I was a single mom young.  I figured things out.  I took care of myself and Carlie.  I married Trace and added two beautiful boys to my care.  Fast forward to the years caring for my grandma, Neil, and my mom.  I have always been ‘needed’ in this way.  My two living children are raised, living on their own. When Joey took his life, he created a new void.  He was our baby, the one who still was in school, who still needed a ride to friends, dinner, stuff for school etc.  All that ended with his last breath.  When my mom left last week being needed as a care giver left with her.  This hurt, I am still letting it. 

Now do not get me wrong.  Loving Trace and being his wife comes with its own opportunity to care give!! He says he does not need ‘help’ and I laugh and dare him to say that twice! 

We are now in a place of discovery.  Its uncharted territory for us.  He got a wife and child on day one.  We have both loved and cared for grandma, Neil, and my mom together.  None of them need us or our care anymore.  

So, we will lean into the unknown allowing ourselves the room to not know who we are without the defining role of care givers.  It is a new chapter for us.  It is an adventure that I look forward to exploring. 

I invite you to give, to love, to do everything you need to do for those in your life so you can have peace of mind and heart that you gave everything you had to give until there was nothing left!   

Then let yourself cry when you need to cry!  Then eat bacon, I had it for breakfast today! 

I wish you everything good. Stay healthy, happy, and safe! 

All my best, 

Genna