NOVEMBER 2020

LIFE | LOVE | LOSS

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy

TIME

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”

–Leo Tolstoy

As daylight savings starts and the days are shorter and darker, we can be left with some extra time that was previously spent outside in the light.  As we enter the second to last month of a year unlike any other, we can start to reflect on what has transpired and what yet will be.

Depending on when you read this, we may be days before or just after a volatile election.  How much more time will many have when they are not watching or discussing varying political views?

I looked up the definition of time and found this; “the indefinite continued progress of existence and events.”

In 2020 this continued progress was met with challenge after challenge. A worldwide pandemic, economic distress, mental and emotional strain, civil unrest not to count the acts of mother nature in earthquakes, fires, windstorms just to mention ones that hit right here in Utah.

One universal thing I have seen and felt this year is we have all been given (or forced depending on your view) to have more time at home.  With travel bans, quarantines, children, and parents working at home time together was thrust upon us.

How was that six months ago?  How do you feel about it now?

Do you treasure the new connections with those closest to you or have you felt an immense strain?  Are you grateful for the opportunities presented inside isolation to slow down, rest and reflect?  Or are you frustrated by all you cannot enjoy like you did before?  What do you treasure about this year and the things you have adapted to?  What will you be glad to never do again?

I read this quote below and it spoke to my soul.  I am a worker; I like to be busy and feel productive.  If you want someone to work hard and take care of business, I’m your girl.  Being still is not one of my strengths.  Yes, this year has allowed me new and sometimes unwelcome time to just rest.   To ‘do’ less and engage more in deep honest reflection of who I am, what I believe in, what calls to my soul and what values I hold most dear.

I invite you to make time to rest your mind and heart this month.  I hope in the quiet reflection you will find a deep and lasting appreciation for the gift of life, love and gratitude for the things or people you were trusted with that might now be gone.

LET YOURSELF REST

If you’re exhausted, rest.

If you don’t feel like starting a new project, don’t.

If you don’t feel the urge to make something new, just rest in the beauty of the old, the familiar, the unknown.

If you don’t feel like talking, stay silent.

If your fed up with the news, turn it off.

If you want to postpone something until tomorrow, do it.

If you want to do nothing, let yourself do nothing today.

Feel the fullness of the emptiness, the vastness of the silence, the sheer life in your unproductive moments.

Time does not always need to be filled.

You are enough, simply in your being.

Jeff Foster

PERMISSION

“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions.  In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel.  In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.”

–Iyanla Vanzant

Do you consider yourself a free spirit generally operating outside of the lines of expectation?  Or are you a rule follower, someone who enjoys and appreciates the clear lines of expectation?  One is not better than the other they are simply different landscapes to live from.  I have been thinking about the permission we give ourselves to feel deeply.  There are many human emotions that are considered good or favorable. There are just as many or maybe more that are viewed as less favorable or even hard or unpleasant.

Why is it we can be quick to laugh and yet fight back tears of sorrow or pain? I have often wondered why we try not to embrace and accept the wide range of human emotions.  I certainly prefer joy and contentment to anger or jealousy.  I find myself willing to linger longer in the good feelings and want to move as fast as possible through the uncomfortable ones.  I am currently in the inquiry of this.

I think our lives are built on the tapestry of all the things we feel.  Our five senses are the way we experience the world around us.  All these senses can make us feel.  When I see my sweetheart, I feel happy.  When I hear birds singing, I feel contentment.  When I smell a rose, I feel grateful.  When I taste things ripened in the sun, I feel blessed.  When I touch my new kitty, I feel happy.

I passed the would have been 19^th birthday of my beautiful Joey last month and I felt so many things.  I felt a deep and lasting gratitude for his life, for the time we had, for the memories made.  I allowed myself time to reflect on all the good things about him, his sweet, dimpled smile, his love for food, his quick whit and sweet thoughtfulness.  Then I felt the crushing waves of his loss, the deep agony of not having him here to see, to hear, to hug.  It is an overwhelming pain one that feels like it wants to swallow me whole.  On his birthday I gave myself permission to feel the depth of the pain of him being gone.

I am so grateful for life, for the opportunity to love and be loved.  I am so grateful to live in the land of the free because of the brave.  I know that whatever comes we will face it with open minds and strong hearts.  I look forward to finding more of my light in the coming days of darkness.

I invite you to spend time this month giving yourself permission to feel whatever there is to feel in your life. 

I wish you everything good.

Stay healthy, happy, and safe!

All my best,

Genna