“Go in the direction of where your peace is coming from.” – C. Joybell

Thank you for making time to read our THMF Newsletter.  The intention of all the hands, minds and hearts that touch the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is for the words, thoughts and resources shared here to bring you insight, perspective, peace, and joy in all that you face.

A TIME FOR PEACE

“Peace cannot be kept by force.  It can only be achieved by understanding.”

–Albert Einstein

If ever there was a time where added peace was needed it might be the end of 2020.  This year has been a year of unprecedented & unexpected twists and turns.  Many of them literally forcing us into new routines, new ways of working, shopping, going to school.  Many past patterns of daily living were upturned leaving peace nowhere to be found. 

To find a new or lasting peace of mind and heart I think we need to first exam what robs us of this contentment.  The end of the year is often a time of reflection, a time to look back at what was.  In doing this we can take an accounting of the wins and the losses.  If we look honestly, we will be able to identify places we excelled while also recognizing areas we struggled or where we continue to struggle.

Where did you lose peace of mind?  Was it in the sudden quarantine spending time at home that would have otherwise been spent elsewhere?  Did you have a hard time doing elementary school work or feeding your family?  Where did new worries come from? 

What did you learn?  What are you more prepared to handle now because of what you learned this year amid the challenges?  Remember to celebrate your wins.  Positive self-talk is an important element for peace of mind.  If you are not currently championing yourself, I invite you to start.

Now that you have a list of some places that robbed you of mental clarity and peace what is the solution to get it back?  For example, do you now know you need to have a certain amount of quiet time just for yourself?  If so, what steps are you taking to create that so you can remain in a more balanced state? 

I encourage you to find something that works for you!  There is no one size fits all when it comes to peace.  If something calms, you and brings you to a new level of contentment then create places and ways in your life to have more of this!

PEACE OF HEART

“Peace begins with me.  The more peaceful I am inside, the more peace I have to share with others.  Worlds peace really does begin with me.” – Lousie Hay

Joy is a popular Christmas theme.  Feelings of deep and lasting joy can certainly improve the peace we feel in our hearts. In the Caring Connections Winter Newsletter there is an article on Happiness.  It is titled ‘Creating the Happiness You Seek” by Harriet Hodgson. 

As we spoke about previously sometimes to find our way back to a happier state, we need to first identify what is keeping us from it.  I certainly agree with the author in this article that happiness can be created.  Sometimes this is necessary especially while on a grief journey.

2020 has been challenging to say the least.  The type of upheaval that was a norm this year robbed many of feelings of security and happiness.  Below are ten things from this article that we can all do in our quest for peace in our hearts.

“Can you be happy after experiencing crushing sadness? Yes. Chances are you’re more resilient than you realize. Here are some of the steps I took to create happiness.

Celebrate little things.

This makes you more aware of the details, such as a baby’s smile, or sun breaking through dark clouds. A phone call from a friend can lift your spirits. I’ve been a freelancer for 37 years and am so glad I can work at home. Life’s little things can turn out to be big things.

Let yourself laugh.

My daughter offered to help out at the church rummage sale. Volunteers didn’t know how to price some new bras. “Charge 25 cents a cup,” my daughter declared. Everyone burst out laughing, and this story still makes me smile. Give yourself permission to laugh and laugh as often as possible.

Spend time with caring people.

Negative people drag you down and positive people lift you up. I joined the local chapter of The Compassionate Friends (TCF) and am buoyed to be in the company of people who understand my grief. To learn about the chapter nearest you contact TCF national office.

Monitor your thoughts.

In the Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living, author Amit Sood, MD asks readers to think of five people they are grateful for each morning. Keep doing this. Before you know it, you will have identified dozens of helpful people. “We can choose our thoughts,” Dr. Sood explains, and this sparks happiness.

Practice Self-care.

Eat right and try to stay physically active. A 15-minute walk can lift your spirits. Quiet time is part of my day because writers need this time. Sometimes I meditate, other times I pray, and other times I close my eyes and let my thoughts wander. Nature also fills my soul and I appreciate each season.

Use linking objects.

A linking object is something that belonged to a deceased loved one and makes you remember that person. You may wear your mother’s necklace, for example, or your father’s shirt. Linking objects can remind you of happy times and this is comforting.

Create “Action Memorials.”

Therese A. Rando, PhD, author of How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, says identifying with a loved one helps you keep that person close. This led me to create “Action Memorials” for the family members who died in 2007. My daughter had a marvelous sense of humor, for example, so I make laughter part of each day. You may create similar memorials in memory of a loved one.

Keep a happiness jar.

This idea comes from author Elizabeth Gilbert. Find a large jar, a small pad of paper, and pencil or pen. At the end of the day, note a happy moment on paper, and put it in the jar (you may have several papers for one day). When the year ends, dump out the papers, read them, and start another jar. Because I’m my disabled husband’s caregiver, I keep two jars, one for happiness, and one for caregiving.

Listen to your heart song.

Often, I turn to a book titled Soulwork by Bettlyclare Moffatt. She thinks each person needs to listen to their heart song [the soul] and live their life accordingly. “Perhaps all that is required is an opening, opening, ever-opening heart in order to do the work of the soul and in the rhythm of the everyday world,” she writes.

Watch for the growth openings in your life.

Finally, remember that love lasts forever and is always with you. Love can lead you forward on the recovery path. From Grief Digest Magazine Volume 13, Issue 1. Reprinted with permission.”

I invite you to find a few things that bring added peace to your mind and heart for this season and to carry with you forward.

I wish you everything good now and, in the month, to come.

Stay healthy, happy, and safe!

All my best,

Genna