OCTOBER 2023

LIFE | LOVE | LOSS

“Grief is like the ocean, it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

-Vicki Harrison

GRIEF’S JOURNEY

GRIEF  

The dictionary defines grief as. 

1. “Deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death. 
   
   “She was overcome with grief” 
   
   

I love the changing of seasons!  Aren’t these fall colors gorgeous!!  Open your windows at night, get out the sweatshirts and no matter how cliché it is eat something pumpkin.

Anyone of you who has had someone you loved or cared for die lives this definition.  Grief from loss can be powerful, all-consuming, and often overwhelming initially.  How you grieve over time will determine your ongoing grief journey. It is a process.  Your love doesn’t die with the person so grief steps in to take its place.  Make friends, get comfortable with the uncomfortable and know that you DO now have a choice about how you will mourn, grieve, and process the loss of your loved one. 


Grief often focuses on the emotional response to loss.  However, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions to it as well.  Know this and pay attention to all these components and how they impact you now, especially moving into the holidays.  Be gentle with you.


Living post pandemic in a volatile social and political world as a new norm created new items to grieve.  I am still grieving the loss of some connections, of hugging, of seeing a smile.  Some people seemed to have withdrawn and stayed away.  Some lost peace of mind and heart and don’t seem to want to find it again.  
 

Grief is a natural part of our human experience. It is also one that can cause us the most difficulty in navigating.  After my son Joey took his life, I heard the saying you have to feel it to heal it.  This has stuck with me.   


When I feel deep sorrow, troubled or annoyed I let those emotions run their course.  I like to breathe and make more room for them with each breath.  I work to identify the source and address anything that needs addressed.  Sometimes you just feel overloaded, overwhelmed or just worn out.  That is ok too.  Find a way to rest your mind and body.  Create times of quiet even if you must get up early, stay up late, or close a door in a room and take some deep breaths! 


I feel it important to embrace these uncomfortable emotions the same way we do the happy good feeling ones.  Let them be.  Know they will not last forever and find the healthiest way you can to move forward even if that is one minute, one hour, one day at a time. 

It will be Joey’s could have been 22nd birthday this month on the 12^th of October.  This day we call J-Day and remind all to be Kind, to Be Real by having open honest conversations and to be More!  You can always share more, love more, forgive more, something more.  I love Joey.  I miss having him here in my life.  I always will so my grief journey is about living in a way that honors this love and his life.  Find a way to show love and honor who you lost inside your pain.  You got this! 

“to love life, to love it even

when you have no stomach for it

and everything you’ve held dear

crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,

your throat filled with the silt of it.

When grief sits with you, its tropical heat

thickening the air, heavy as water

more fit for gills than lungs;

when grief weights you like your own flesh

only more of it, an obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face

between your palms, a plain face,

no charming smile, no violet eyes,

and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you, again.”

― Ellen Bass 

I wish you everything good.  

All my best,

Genna

RESOURCES

University of Utah Health Caring Connections:

Grief & the Holidays

We are pleased to invite you to attend our 2023 Annual Grief & the Holidays program, which will be held on Tuesday, November 14 from 7:00 to 9:00 pm at the University of Utah College of Nursing (10 S 2000 E Salt Lake City UT, 84112). Parking will be available near the building for those attending in person. The program will also be streamed online via Zoom.

The theme of this year’s program is “How the Light Comes.” Our featured guest speaker will be Taryn Hiatt, the Utah and Nevada Area Director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The program will also feature musical performances by Peter Breinholt.

This program is free and open to the public. We are asking those who plan to attend this year’s event to RSVP at this link