LIFE | LOVE | LOSS
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
– Oscar Wilde
TRUTH
“In the long run, the most unpleasant truth is a safer companion than a pleasant falsehood.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
Happy August!
Truth has been on my mind. I don’t know how it is for you when you focus your attention on something often what comes up first is all the places that thing is out of alignment.
As I spent time thinking about truth, where I am honest with myself and others I got to notice where I am not being fully honest. Little things like, “I am on my way” when my shoes were not even on yet. Or “I am working on that”, having not even started. Those seem innocent enough and could easily fall into the ‘white lie’ column, but I started to notice how easy it was for me to say these things in my everyday life.
Most people who know me would say I am one of the most honest direct people they know. So honestly, I will tell you I lie all the time! I lie to old people and toddlers to get them to do what I want. I tell white lies like the ones above. I have told lies of omission when it suited me or a situation to give favor or have things presented in a specific light.
Now, I consider myself to be someone with strong moral values who operates with high integrity, and I am an honest direct communicator overall (when I am not lying)!
So, what about absolute truth?
This has been on my mind and in my heart.
Can I live with and always be in the space of open honest absolute truth in all situations?
Right now, the answer is I don’t know, I am still sitting with this. I can tell you I am more aware. I am catching myself in the moment and saying, “I am putting on my shoes and leaving in 2 minutes” when that is the truth. When asked, “How are you”, I am checking in with myself before “Fine or Good” leaves my mouth. If happy, satisfied, sad, mad, overwhelmed or tired are true I am sharing that even if it’s awkward.
On my grief journey after losing our youngest son Joey (age 15 to suicide) I am honest with myself of my progress. Where I feel strong and stable in this loss. Where I still feel wrecked and destroyed that he is gone. It’s honest to recognize there are parts of having a dead child that will always mess you up. Ten-year-old boys with freckles destroy me, instant tears when I see them. It is uncomfortable, I just get tears in my eyes and can’t hold back the thick emotions that wash over me. The deep yearning of wanting to go back and do it all over.
Will that ever stop? I don’t know. For now, it’s true. It’s real. I know it and when it happens it’s awkward, uncomfortable and I just let it be what it is.
Loving people changes us so I believe we need to keep making room for losing them to also change us. We can change in ways that are loving and healthy for us and their memory if that is what we choose. We have all watched people change in less healthy ways, that is their choice and journey as well.
This month, I invite you to be aware of truth. Ask yourself what is true for you in life, love and loss. Is there anywhere you are lying to yourself and others that needs to be cleaned up? If so, I invite you to do the work. Have the conversations, set yourself and them free.
Mental Health Moment:
“Play is the highest form of research.”
– Albert Einstein
This month we are focusing on playing! If you are not following THMF on social media sites I invite you to start. The quote above was shared recently with many other great and thought-provoking ones.
When is the last time you played? Did something fun just for the sake of fun?
Do that again? If you had to think for very long get going, schedule something, create something, go race go-karts, play with Play-Doh, color a picture. Sit at a park and watch kids on a playground to get inspired that play can be easy and come naturally! Find something that makes you laugh! Laughter really is good medicine!
Make some intentional time this month for playfulness!
All my best,
Genna
RESOURCES
988 – National Mental Health Hotline – Talk or Text 24/7
National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI www.mani.org/Home
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988
Crisis Hotlines: Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Eluna Network
Mental Health App’s
Talkspace – Best Overall Therapy App
Calm – Best Mindfulness App
My3 – Three People / Three Distractions / Safety Plan App
Chopra App – Great mindfulness and free meditations
Pride Counseling – Best Queer Mental Health App
Youper – Best Self-Guided Therapy App
Headspace – Best Anxiety App
The Next Adventure 