LIFE | LOVE | LOSS
“What Mental Health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.”
– Glenn Close
MOVING FORWARD vs. MOVING ON
“Moving forward is one of the most important decisions we can make in life, because it allows us to grow, learn new lessons, have more energy, enjoy more peace, and overcome our adversities.”
- Dr. Peter Nieman
Happy September!
Has anyone ever told you to ‘just move on’ or ‘let that go’? Have you told anyone that in a situation in life? Perhaps it was over a break-up, a conflict at work, something someone did to upset or betray. What about when you lose someone you loved dearly? What is the ‘right’ advice then? Do you move on or let go?
Well, what I have learned on my grief journey is most people say what they think is helpful. Most people truly want to provide comfort or solace. I do think most of what is shared comes from a place of true caring and a desire for our well-being. I have also learned there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss. Loving someone often changes you, so it’s natural to accept that losing them will also change you. Let it. You will not be the same person you were before losing a child, spouse, parent, dear friend or other loved one.
Some great things to say at time of loss are, “I am sorry they are gone.” That’s it. Full stop. Let there be room there for the loss. Breath into this quiet space and then ask, “How are you today?” If you want to offer help, then I recommend close-ended offers over open-ended ones. After my son Joey died more than a hundred people asked, “What can I do”. Every time I thought, “Just bring Joey back.”
No one could bring Joey back. Now I had real things I needed like more paper towels or toilet paper. We loved pizza on a Friday night, one of his favorites! Would I have asked anyone outright for those things? I could have, many or all would have gladly gotten me those things if I had told them they were needed. So, I learned in loss to call a friend and say, “I am at the pizza place, what sounds good for you and your house tonight, I will drop some off.” Or, I text and say, “I am running to the store, do you need any supplies like TP, paper plates, water, etc”.? When asking closed ended questions, it’s easier for someone to share what really is needed. A tired, sad, usually sleep deprived mind isn’t always good at filling in open ended blanks.
This year will be eight years on September 10th, World Suicide Awareness Day since my son died by suicide. The first year I felt like a raw exposed nerve. Everything was happening to me. I was so tender and cried at anything and everything. That became less over the years and through the time and effort I put into healing, processing, grieving his loss. I chose early to move forward in light, through love to honor him and how much he means to me. I will NEVER get over him not being here. I will NEVER move on from him leaving the way he did. I learned to declare acceptance for the things I couldn’t understand. I got my feet under me and realized I didn’t choose his death, but I could choose how I processed the loss. I learned to live around the hole in my heart in not having him with us anymore. I cried less over the years though anniversary’s and ten-year-old boys with freckles still get me every time.
I will never wake up and not want him back. I will ALWAYS wake up grateful he was here. Grateful I know him and get to love him still. I will continue to move forward finding places and ways to share my unspent love for him with others in a way that is meaningful.
I invite you to also find ways to move forward using your unspent love for good in your life and in the lives of others.
Mental Health Moment:
“This Life. This Night. Your Story. Your Pain. Your Hope. It Matters. All of it Matters.”
- Jaime Tworkowski
September Suicide Prevention
Discussing suicide can be intimidating, but if you or someone you know may be struggling with their mental health, being direct and talking about it can make a massive difference. If you think someone is thinking about suicide, assume that you are the only one who will reach out.
How to have the conversation:
• Bring it up in a private setting.
• Ask about their story and listen.
• Vocalize that you care about them.
• Ask them directly if they are thinking about suicide.
• Encourage them to reach out to their doctor or therapist to receive treatment.
• Do not minimize their problems, give advice, or debate the value of life.
Language is powerful, especially the words we use when speaking about mental health. By using person-first language, we put the focus back on the individual and help to reduce stigma. Below are a few ways to adjust your language for a more productive conversation.
Instead of Say
Crazy or Insane Person living with a mental health challenge/trauma
Depressed Person living with depression
Clean/Ex-addict Person living in recovery
Addict/junkie/druggie Person living with substance abuse disorder or challenge
Mental Illness Mental health challenge or crisis
Drug/alcohol abuse Substance use challenge
Committed Suicide Died by suicide or lost to suicide
Failed Suicide Attempted suicide
Sources: http://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2022/04/use-person-first-language-to-reduce-stigma/ and afsp.org/what-to-do-when-someone-is-at-risk/
Connections matter, see who you can reach out too, make a new or deepen already existing connections this month.
All my best,
Genna
RESOURCES
988 – National Mental Health Hotline – Talk or Text 24/7
National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI www.mani.org/Home
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988
Crisis Hotlines: Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Eluna Network
Mental Health App’s
Talkspace – Best Overall Therapy App
Calm – Best Mindfulness App
My3 – Three People / Three Distractions / Safety Plan App
Chopra App – Great mindfulness and free meditations
Pride Counseling – Best Queer Mental Health App
Youper – Best Self-Guided Therapy App
Headspace – Best Anxiety App
UTAH VISION DAY
RAISING AWARENESS FOR MENTAL HEALTH & SUICIDE PREVENTION
This is the main fundraiser for the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation to fund programs and retreats all year.
Utah Vision Gala
November 8, 2025 @ The Grand America
Bereaved Mother’s Retreat’s
Bereaved Mother’s Retreat’s sponsored by Cristie North of Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation and Leigh Anne Garcia of Andrew Garcia Memorial Foundation.
2025 Dates:
Twilight Moon Ranch, Kamas
September 26 – 28th 2025
Visit www.thmemorialfoundation.org or email cristie@thmemorialfoundation.org
MENTAL HEALTH CARE CRISIS CENTER 24/7
Huntsman Mental Health Institute Crisis Care Center
Walk-In care for anyone 18+ experiencing a mental health crisis at no cost.
955 West 3300 South
South Salt Lake City, UT 84119
THETAHEALING / CHAKRA CLEARING / ORACLE CARD READING
Sessions for all the options above with Genna Thomsen
Call or text 801-598-6517 to schedule your time today!
BEAREAVEMENT DOULA
Bereavement Doula
McKenzie Mott
Creativewaystogrieve.com
LOTUS ROCKS & CRYSTALS
Multiple Reader/Healers at Lotus doing mini sessions.
LOTUS
12896 S Pony Express Rd Ste. 200
Draper, UT 84020
SUPPORT
Mental Health Urgent Care
https://mentalhealthurgentcare.com/
Live On Utah
Caring Connections
SLC, Midvale & Orem
www.nursing.utah.edu/caring-connections
801-585-9522
What’s Your Grief?
A website about grief & loss & ways to cope.
The Sharing Place
Support for families and children 3 ½ and up.
801-466-6730
Canary Garden
Helping children in their grief process.
801-960-2684
Substance Use and Mental Health Services Association
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis Text Line
Text TALK to 741741
SafeUT Crisis & Chat App
The SafeUT Crisis Chat and Tip Line is a statewide service that provides real-time crisis intervention to youth through live chat and a confidential tip program – right from your smartphone.
Licensed clinicians in our 24/7 CrisisLine call center respond to all incoming chats and calls by providing:
supportive or crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and referral services.
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