Thursday September 14, 2017 arrived.  Tonight is his viewing.  Joey liked to be comfortable. Trace is allergic to dress clothes and I feel most comfortable in my boots and jeans.  We invited all to come as they were most comfortable.

We got to the church early.  The flowers, the pictures, the displays of some of his favorite things were all artistically prepared.  My gosh I have some amazing talented friends.  I would not have made it one day without their help!  You know who you are!

The line started early.  So many of his friends and their families came to show their respects.  They had to see him for the first time.  What a wicked thing to have to do.  We had the mortuary dress him in an outfit he wore recently to a wedding and dance.  It was his black dress pants, leather shoes with matching belt, white dress shirt with a pink bow tie and suspenders.  We gave them underwear for him to wear too.  Another one of those silly things that really don’t matter in the big scheme of things but just seem to be necessary at the same time.

On one hand he looked ‘good’ as so many people like to say at a funeral.  On another its a terrible absolutely horrible thing to have to look at his young handsome face on his lifeless body.  Its just brutal.  This was SO hard for his friends.  SO hard for family.  SO hard for us all to look upon a life that was cut short by his own doing.

We were wrapped in the arms of love for hours.  There was a sea of people.  I was told the line spanned the length of the church and into the foyer during the night.  Joey is and was SO loved.

Each person I hugged I silently ‘borrowed’ a measure of their strength. I took a little touch of energy from all who wrapped their arms around me knowing I would need this to help me stand the rest of the night.  The mind is a funny thing.  While greeting and hugging people I started to think about how they smelled, what foods they had for dinner.  Perhaps an exhausted haunted weary mind wanders in this way.  I know mine did!

There is SO MUCH LOVE.  I felt equally humbled and overwhelmed by those who drove to see us.  As the last of the people trickled out I turned to say a final good night to my baby boy.

I leaned in and kissed him goodnight in a casket.  I sobbed the rest of the way outside and into the night….