“Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” – Joseph Campbell

 

 FIREWORKS

“Acceptance makes an incredible fertile soil for the seeds of change.”

– Steve Maraboli

 

For those of you who read this newsletter monthly, thank you!  You will have noticed that we did not release one in July.  I sat down to write it many times and nothing would come.  I am not sure if this was some form of writer’s block or a reflection of the chaos inside and outside my life.  Whatever it was I am back to writing and sharing my thoughts and insights with you.

With the change of so many ‘normal’ holiday venues this year we happened to be home on the fourth of July.  The cancelling of major gatherings and firework shows did nothing to slow my community down from putting on an incredible show lasting more than an hour.  I stood in my back yard and was not sure where to look, things were going on all around me.  It was beautiful chaos.  I did not know if I should look left, right, in front or turn to look behind.  My neck was getting a workout from turning back and forth.  I did not want to miss anything yet there was no way to take it all in at once.

This is also the way I feel right now with all the catalysts changes we are seeing in our country and the world.  There are issues to the left, right, in front of us and behind us.  Most of them big issues, things that have long needed attention and edits.

It is hard to know where to engage and focus one’s attention.  I know there are a lot of feelings of unease and uncertainly with any one of the major open issues let alone the totality of them all.

My invitation is to find balance.  Engage in the topics that you feel most passionate about or the most drawn too.  Limit exposure to negative or upsetting media if you are feeling a strain on your mind or heart.  Take time to process, learn, re-group.  I found early on into the COVID crisis that I did better reading stories than watching the news.  I quickly learned I felt less strained if I did this every few days.  I know this is not for everyone.  My point is to find what works for you and do that!  Self-care especially during all these ever-shifting events is vitally important.

Thus far, 2020 has been unique and very difficult with Covid-19, earthquakes, and civil unrest, which have triggered emotions and responsibilities in every different direction.  I invite you to make the time to get yourself back to balance. To breath deep and ask yourself what things are the most important to you.  I invite you to allow yourself to feel uncertain about the current and future events.  I know we can create peace amid change.  It can take effort and the removal of things that are causing us the lack of peace.

I love the passion for change.  I love the dedication to eradicate harmful practices that still exist.  I love seeing so many willing to rise to the fight for making a difference where needed.

Like the quote at the top of this, all we can do is accept that we are where we are.  The planet is where it is.  A lot of things that have gone on too long or that have been hidden in the dark are getting attention and light shone on them.  We often cannot change these outside forces, or the way others respond to them.

We can accept them (without agreeing with them) and use this acceptance as the seeds to create changes where needed within our own sphere of influence.  Let us all find ways to do that!  Let us work at being a force for good in all that we encounter.

 

CLEAN LINES

 

Anymore it feels like lines are being drawn and we are being tasked with taking a side.  Some line are soft lines and some are hard lines.  Many current issues have many lines inside them where it is implied if you support one topic it makes you against another.

I like clean things!  I like things to be organized. It relaxes my mind.  I like this to the point that my OCD or if we are alphabetizing my CDO can get the best of me!  I will straighten spices in the cupboard so the labels are facing forward, I will do this in the fridge and pantry too.  I have re-loaded the dishwasher countless times in the spirit of economy of space as things really to fit ‘better’ when I load it!!  Yes, I have changed toilet paper rolls, so they are rolling from the top down.  I have done this so many times in my own house and maybe even a time or two in yours!!  I do not get upset when things are not this way (generally) I just simply prefer them straight according to my version of clean and organized.  I have asked my husband why the grilling spices made it to the baking spices shelf a time or two!  In his wisdom and years with me he simply raises an eyebrow and does not engage.  He knows I am just going to move things around as I see fit anyway!  My little brother probably gave me away years ago when he said, “Genna gets mad about messes and if you just let her be mad, do nothing she will clean it up anyway.”  True.

Here is the thing, my version is just that. One Version in the millions of versions of how things can be done.  My version is not necessarily right or wrong its just mine.

The same holds weight for our beliefs of the things we hold to be true.  There are absolute truths on the planet like the laws of physics and gravity.  Then there are all the ‘truths’ that we personally hold as THE TRUTH when in fact they might be the truth according to us.

I would love nothing more than to see the world find more constructive ways to disagree.  To listen to each varying point of view with the purpose of understanding.  How powerful would it be to just ‘get’ how someone feels about a topic without comments, debates or fights as to how their view matches in truth against our own.  To me this is ultimate form of acceptance.

Life is messy.  Learning can be messy.  Creating change can be messy.  As much as I like things clean at times, we need to be able to sit with or inside of the mess of life so we can find a new way to create outcomes that honor, and respect all involved.

 

GRIEF

The dictionary defines grief as.

1. “deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.

“she was overcome with grief”

• INFORMAL

trouble or annoyance.

“we were too tired to cause any grief”

 

Anyone of you who has had someone you loved or cared for die knows the first definition.  Grief from loss can be powerful, all-consuming, and often overwhelming.

Grief often focuses on the emotional response to loss.  However, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions to it as well.

Living during a pandemic where social isolation has become a norm has created new items to grieve.  I am grieving the loss of connections, of hugging, of seeing a smile.  Theses are things I enjoyed that I feel the loss of.  If you have been anywhere in public recently, we are all encouraged to keep six feet apart.  I miss being close.  Many are grieving the loss of employment and the financial stability that came with it.  Others are dealing with the loss of personal space having children home to raise, love, discipline and now teach.  It is nearly impossible to not feel the deep sorrow from the racial injustices that are taking place.  The skin on my hands are grieving the days they were not covered in sanitizer repeatedly.

It can feel troublesome and annoying to read conflicting reports and wonder what the purest source of information is on all present topics.

Grief is a natural part of our human experience. It is also one that can cause us the most difficulty in navigating.  After my son Joey took his life, I heard the saying you have to feel it to heal it.  This has stuck with me.

When I feel deep sorrow, troubled or annoyed I let those emotions run their course.  I work to identify the source and address anything that needs addressed.  Sometimes you just feel overloaded, overwhelmed or just worn out.  That is ok too.  Find a way to rest your mind and body.  Create times of quiet even if you must get up early, stay up late, or close a door in a room and take some deep breaths!

I feel it important to embrace these uncomfortable emotions the same way we do the happy good feeling ones.  Let them be.  Know they will not last forever and find the healthiest way you can to move forward even if that is one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  You got this!

 

“to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.”
― Ellen Bass

 

I wish you everything good.

All my best,

Genna