MAY 2022
LIFE | LOVE | LOSS
“We often think of charity as an action. But I think of Charity as a state of the heart.”
– Elaine Dalton
CHARITABLE ASSUMPTIONS
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
- Leo Buscaglia
I recently attended a work Symposium that had Susan Reilly Salgado Ph.D. as the Keynote speaker. She is a beautiful, brilliant woman who has dedicated her career to functional and impactful cultural organization in the workplace.
She shared a concept she called “Charitable Assumptions”. She explained these to be moments where it would be easy to judge, think the worse, or criticize others. Instead of these often seemingly automatic responses, she teaches how we can we think and speak more charitably towards others.
One of her examples is someone who parks in 1 ½ spots. Often our automatic response is not favorable thinking the driver is a jerk for taking more space, depending on the make and model of the car we might also decide they think their time or car is better than others! So how could we view this with more charity?
Perhaps it was snowy when they arrived, and they could not see the lines? Maybe they have a handicap or disability that requires extra space to exit the car and there were not any other spaces open. Or could it have been a medical emergency or upset tummy making them rush?
In this simple example you can see there are as many judgements as there are opportunities for charitable assumptions. I LOVE this concept! I have a critical mind and am hard on myself and others in thought and word at times. I am a few days into fully embracing the chance to be more charitable in all situations giving others the benefit of the doubt or embracing that I just don’t know what is happening in another’s person’s life or parking choices!
Where can you be more charitable in your assumptions?
What or who in your life can you view through this new lense?
How does it make you feel?
I invite you all to embrace this for a day, see what comes up and then choose if you want to use this concept the next day or the next!
EATING COOKIES AND THROWING PUNCHES
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark Twain
Have you ever gotten mad, been upset, or really ticked off about something or someone? If your answer is no, then skip forward this segment is not for you!
If you answered yes, how do you process anger?
Recently I had a circumstance where someone upset one of my children. All my momma bear protecting instincts roared to the foreground making me feel really upset at the words and actions that caused the upset. I told my husband I was so mad I wanted to punch something and eat cookies…..
Not sure what the cookie craving was about, maybe my body trying to get some sugar stores for quick energy in case I acted on the punching part! I think as a society we struggle with productive and constructive ways to express anger. If something is funny, we don’t try NOT to laugh. So, when we are frustrated or upset why do we often try to hide, suppress, or cover up these feelings?
I don’t have the answer to that question. What I do know is you can be a peace seeking, kind respectful person and still get angry at times. It is called being human. How we behave when angry is where the test of our character comes out to play. This choice varies based on where we are mentally, emotionally, our physical wellness and the person or situation involved.
I was a yelling mom. The only reason I can say that in the past tense is my children are raised and out of our house. I would like to think if we all lived together again, I would never raise my voice in frustration but that would be a lie. There were moments when I ‘lost my temper’ and raised my voice where I immediately knew this was not what I was committed too in my interactions. Sometimes I asked for a ’do-over’ having them start the conversation over with me choosing a new way to listen and respond. I did not do this as much as I could have.
My daughter has expressed that my yelling hurt her. She was and is a wonderful easy child. She told me I made her feel like she was hard. For that I am truly sorry. I have owned that and am grateful for the chance to apologize and offer to pay for the first three counseling sessions to work through this!
According to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger.
“Anger is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,”
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common-sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.”
Below are seven ways to help manage anger.
Here are seven ways you can learn to manage your anger issues:
- Breathe. When you’re angry beyond belief, there’s nothing more you can do than just breathe and take back control of your body. …
- Count. …
- Keep a journal or log about your anger. …
- Visualize peace. …
- Embrace confrontation. …
- Exercise. …
- Take some time.
May you find your way through the next upset in your life even if it includes punching pillows and eating cookies!
All my best,
Genna
EVENTS
SEEDS OF REMEMBRANCE May 10th 6:30 pm
SPONSORED BY THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH CARING CONNECTIONS THROUGH THE COLLEGE OF NURSING
Seeds of Remembrance event, to be held in person at the University of Utah College of Nursing (10 S 2000 E Salt Lake City, UT 84112) on May 10, 2022.
Seeds of Remembrance is an opportunity for individuals to come together and cope with the loss of a family member or friend while honoring the memory of the person who died. This year’s theme is “When the Sun Comes Out.” The program’s featured speaker is Utah State Representative Melissa Garff Ballard. Music will be provided by Canyon String Quartet.
Free parking available at or near the building.
Mental Health App’s
Talkspace – Best Overall Therapy App
Calm – Best Mindfulness App
My3 – Three People / Three Distractions / Safety Plan App
Chopra App – Great mindfulness and free meditations
Pride Counseling – Best Queer Mental Health App
Youper – Best Self-Guided Therapy App
Headspace – Best Anxiety App
UTAH VISION DAY
RAISING AWARENESS FOR MENTAL HEALTH & SUICIDE PREVENTION
This is the main fundraiser for the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation to fund programs and retreats all year.
RIDE – August 13, 2022
GALA – November 4, 2022
Bereaved Mother’s Retreat’s
Bereaved Mother’s Retreat’s sponsored by Cristie North of Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation and Leigh Anne Garcia of Andrew Garcia Memorial Foundation.
2022 Dates:
September 30 – Oct 1st
Visit www.thmemorialfoundation.org or email cristie@thmemorialfoundation.org
5th Annual Andrew Garcia Memorial Match
June 17, 2022
6 pm to 9 pm
Olympus High School
UTAH COUNTY RESIDENTS
Anyone in the Utah County area that would be interested in partnering/facilitate with Dawn Christensen. It is with Compassionate Friends.
They meet last Thursday of the month at 7PM. She is looking for help.
Santaquin TCF of Utah County
364 N state Road 198
Santaquin, UT
Dawn – 801-471-7011
dchriste@nuskin.com
LOTUS
You are invited to join LOTUS for our Psychic Fair first Saturday of every Month
Multiple Reader/Healers at Lotus doing mini sessions at $15
LOTUS
12896 S Pony Express Rd Ste 200
Draper, UT 84020
SUPPORT
Live On Utah
Caring Connections
SLC, Midvale & Orem
www.nursing.utah.edu/caring-connections
801-585-9522
What’s Your Grief?
A website about grief & loss & ways to cope.
The Sharing Place
Support for families and children 3 ½ and up.
801-466-6730
Canary Garden
Helping children in their grief process.
801-960-2684
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis Text Line
Text TALK to 741741
SafeUT Crisis & Chat App
The SafeUT Crisis Chat and Tip Line is a statewide service that provides real-time crisis intervention to youth through live chat and a confidential tip program – right from your smartphone.
Licensed clinicians in our 24/7 CrisisLine call center respond to all incoming chats and calls by providing:
supportive or crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and referral services.
The Next Adventure 