NOVEMBER 2024
LIFE | LOVE | LOSS
“November is a time of transition, of slowing down, of turning inward.”
– Elizabeth J. Kolodziej
TRANSITION
“Not everything that comes back to you is meant for you.
Sometimes things come back as a reminder of just how good you are without them”
– Billy Chapata
As we watch mother nature transition from summer to fall it makes me reflect on internal transitions. If you live in Utah, it can be cold and chilly in the morning prompting seat warmers, jackets and heaters. Late afternoon can have you with windows down and the A/C back on. We can make many transitions to our external environment in the span of a short amount of time.
What about inside of you? Can you transition from anger to mild irritation quickly? Do you move from strong emotions of desire to faint interest in a flash of an eye? It seems to me when it comes to emotions we are not as fluid as we are with external things like adjusting the temperature of our surrounding. I have often read the quote on how the trees are showing us how easy it is to let go when they lose their leaves. What about the brilliant show of color before they let go? Are we our brightest and most vibrant before we release something we have held onto? Do you let go with ease or does the process of letting go feel difficult to you?
I love the lessons in nature. Take a deep breath. Then take another. What is something you want that isn’t currently happening or showing up in your life? What could you let go of in your mind or heart to allow it to come to you? To take an action what steps are needed for you to transition from where you are now to where you want to be?
I am committed to peace in my life. I had some frustrations bubbling up inside me towards a family member, they were festering, and I wanted to let them go. I also felt ‘justified’ in my anger. I felt right about the things the other person did that I felt were wrong. I am committed to peaceful living, to choosing happiness over being right and asking myself what would love do?
Well, in my head peace and love and trying not to be right swear a lot! So, I often need to take a step back, breathe deeply and regroup BEFORE I speak or act. Sometimes easier said than done. In this case I needed to get these thoughts and feelings from the inside of me to the outside. On the last full moon, I wrote a note in pencil (lead is connected to the earth) expressing everything that was inside of me. It didn’t feel productive to have this conversation with the person I felt was wrong. In some situations, you can. In this case I knew it would go in circles causing more upset. I went outside after dark and burned the letter in a jar. Letting all of it go. Now when my mind wants to jump back into the upset, I remind it we burned it!
Sometimes we need an action to help transition things from the inside of us to the outside. It’s good to know that we don’t have to hold onto upset, that things that hurt us in the past do not need to keep hurting us now. We don’t have to let old pains back in or let people (even family) be in our lives if their choices cause us harm or pain. Good clear boundaries are needed even if they feel hard in the beginning. If peace is your goal, then stand your ground and choose that for yourself in all areas of your life.
Little things like cleaning your freezer or a kitchen drawer while saying, “I am getting rid of the old making room for the new” can help move energy and help get us from one place to the next.
The upcoming holidays can be tiring and hard on a weary or grieving heart. Be gentle with you. Say no if you don’t want to do something. No means no for any reason without explanation, remember that its ok to not be ok. It’s alright to feel raw and exposed. It’s acceptable to let things be uncomfortable while you are learning a new normal without the person you lost.
I invite you to ask yourself the question, “How do I want to include ______ (whoever has passed) in these holidays?” Then do that! Some people set a place for them at the dinner table. Some share stories, write letters to be read in private. Some do coat or sock drives in their loved one’s name. You do what feels best for you. Honor your love for them through your loss.
Self-Care Tip:
“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.”
-Alice Mackenzie Swaim
BOUNDARIES – www.helpguide.org
“Time boundaries allow you to focus on your priorities at work and in your personal life without feeling crowded by other people’s needs and wants. Imagine that you’ve had a stressful work week and want to spend the weekend recuperating. You might decline a party invite or set a limit on how long you’ll be there. Other time-related restrictions could include asking a friend to avoid calling you during work hours or asking a partner to delay an important conversation until a more convenient time.
Shifting boundaries
Boundaries aren’t etched in stone. You’ll need to adjust them as circumstances change and relationships grow. This can be especially true in long-term relationships. Communication is important as you reevaluate and revise your boundaries. You want the other person to be clear on the change and the reason behind it.
Examples of shifting boundaries
| Initial boundary | New boundary |
| You initially have loose financial boundaries with family members and help them pay bills when necessary. | You lost your job, so you decide to set tighter boundaries to protect your financial well-being. |
| You often agree to work extra weekend hours to help a coworker. | You cut back on hours so you can spend more time with your newborn. |
| You allow a friend to vent their emotions to you daily. | The oversharing of information affects your mental health, so you set a limit on how often you talk about the subject. |
| You and your partner have sex multiple times a week. | Your sex drive changes, and you ask your partner if the two of you can focus on different forms of intimacy. |
| You allow your brother-in-law to temporarily use your garage for storage. | You need the space for your own needs, so you talk to him about relocating his items.” |
All my best,
Genna
RESOURCES
988 – National Mental Health Hotline – Talk or Text 24/7
National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI www.mani.org/Home
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988
Crisis Hotlines: Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Eluna Network
Mental Health App’s
Talkspace – Best Overall Therapy App
Calm – Best Mindfulness App
My3 – Three People / Three Distractions / Safety Plan App
Chopra App – Great mindfulness and free meditations
Pride Counseling – Best Queer Mental Health App
Youper – Best Self-Guided Therapy App
Headspace – Best Anxiety App
GRIEF & THE HOLIDAYS – CARING CONNECTIONS
We hope that you will join us for 2024 Grief & the Holidays: Grief and Gratitude on Tuesday, November 12, 2024, from 7:00-9:00 p.m., at the University of Utah College of Nursing (10 S 2000 E Salt Lake City, UT 84112). Free parking will be provided near the building. The event will also be livestreamed online via Zoom. Grief and the Holidays is free and open to the public.
Grief and the Holidays is an opportunity for individuals to come together and cope with the loss of a family member or friend while keeping the memory of the person alive during the difficult holiday season.
This year’s theme is “Grief and Gratitude.” Our speaker this year is Holly Mullen, retired Salt Lake Tribune journalist and widow of former Salt Lake City mayor, Ted Wilson. The program will also feature musical performances by Cherie Call.
You may also RSVP for updates on this event at: https://utahnursing.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_01ZMg4C7MP34Si2
THETAHEALING / CHAKRA CLEARING / ORACLE CARD READING
Sessions for all the options above with Genna Thomsen call/text 801-598-6517 or visit
The Next Adventure 